My Own Experience with Grief

Grief: It’s a very painful feeling to experience.

Google defines grief as a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, and philosophical dimensions.

I currently experience grief as a result of the rejection experienced from both of my parents. With my dad having rejected  me due to me choosing to follow Jesus and my mom who battles mental illness (and has also rejected me due to her own mental health issues), one would think that I would have given up on people by now, including my friends. I currently struggle with depression and a sleep disorder called akathisia as a result of everything I’ve been through with both of my parents. Akathisia has many symptoms, including anxiety and insomnia, which I do not talk about a lot. Writing about it in this blog post is my first time talking and being open about it. 

I’ve realized that through this grieving period of my parents and my own issues, I cannot deal with them alone. God has blessed me with a few close friends, who I have told about all of my problems. “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”~Proverbs 18:24~

Despite my own problems I face, I know this: that I am an overcomer of all of my own issues and struggles by the power of God’s grace and not my own efforts. “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.”~Romans 8:37~

I am not defined by my depression or sleep disorder because I am an adopted daughter of Christ. “For ye have not received the Spirit of bondage again to fear: but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.”~Romans 8:15~ 

This is because God wants us to be intentional with one another, particularly with those we can trust. I choose to place my trust in the Lord so that in this manner, I can trust my friends too. “Blessed are all they that put their trust in Him.”~Psalm 2:12~

God has taught me this truth: true friends not only listen, but they love you at all times, regardless of your own issues. “A friend loveth at all times.”~Proverbs 17:17~ 

Throughout this period, I have also taken necessary steps to mature in a spiritual, mental, physical, and  emotional sense. I have lost 6 lbs in just one week from eating healthy and exercising regularly. Even though I have not consulted my parents for my own wellbeing, I have turned to God and those He has placed in my life for help. This is because He alone is my portion. “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.”~Lamentations 3:22-24~ 

I may experience all of these feelings now, but I have absolute joy in the Lord. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”~Psalm 30:5~

I finish this blog post with a final thought: Ask Jesus Christ for His strength to push through the hard times. My life verse has always helped me to realize this fact:”I can do all things through Christ which strengheneth me.”~Philippians 4:13~

God bless and thank you for reading this blog post! 🙂 

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