My spirit broke.
This was how I felt after having a seizure a couple of weeks ago. I was never expecting anything this serious to happen to me. I asked God why He allowed the Enemy to take my mind in this way. God replied to me: “Trust me. I know what I am doing.” ~”Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”~ Psalm 46:10.~
A couple of days after the seizure happened, I evaluated my life. I am graduating soon from Liberty University Online with a seminary degree, am going on an internship to Japan in a couple of weeks, and am trying to figure out God’s grand plan for my life after Japan. Everything seemed to be going well before the seizure happened. But, was this seizure a part of God’s plan for me? I decided to ask God in prayer, “Why did You allow this seizure to happen to me?”
He said to me, “Trust me.” “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” ~Romans 8:28.~
I am still confused to this day as to why He allowed this seizure to happen to me. I have a mixture of feelings: angry, sad, depressed. But in the midst of all of these emotions, I know that this brokenness that I feel will be used for God to be glorified, even when I cannot physically see nor understand why He allowed the seizure to happen to me. I choose to trust in what I cannot see, even when things don’t make sense to me in the moment. ~”For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.~2 Corinthians 4:17-18.~
Even as I type this blog post, I praise God for how far I have come since this past year (yes, even after my seizure!!):
- I went on a short-term mission trip to Lebanon, which provided divine insight into God’s calling for me to go into ministry.
- I am almost finished with my M.A. degree in Global Studies from Liberty University Online.—-I receive my degree in the mail in August! 😀
- I am learning how to share the love of Christ with my family as I re-establish ties with them.—I am praying for them to surrender their lives to Christ as their personal Savior.
- I am going to Japan for my 2nd short-term mission trip to share the love of Jesus with the Japanese and show them who He is.
Even after the seizure, I choose to not let it define me and MOVE ON with Jesus holding my hand. ~”Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” ~Matthew 7:14.~
Jesus is carrying me into the next stage of my life and I choose to trust Him as He breaks away all form of bad influences, power, principalities, and weapons that are attempting to stop me from remaining obedient to God’s will and calling for me to go into ministry. I rebuke fear. ~”For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”~2 Timothy 1:7.~
I take every negative thought captive to Jesus as He destroys it and cleanses my mind of oppression. ~”Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”~2 Corinthians 10:5.~
I choose to walk into the future with faith…..Are you??
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”~2 Corinthians 5:7.~