I am diagnosed bi-polar and am mildly autistic.
You can read this and think whatever mean and derogatory thoughts that you like. You can point fingers at me. You are even free to laugh at me, gossip, and say all manner of bad things behind my back about me. But, I have bi-polar disorder, am mildly autistic, and have overcome both of these mental health disorders, in the Name of Jesus Christ.
If you have been reading my last blog posts, I stated that I would share with you, dear reader, a little more in depth what exactly it is that I struggle with. Well, there is a time to share with you and the time is now, in Jesus’ Name.
~”For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under the heaven: He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.”~Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11, ESV~
When I was in elementary school many years ago, a medical doctor at Emory University diagnosed me as mildly autistic. My mom nor my dad did not take the time, as parents, to explain to me exactly what it was that I struggled with. I honor them as parents because the Bible states to honor them, but they never explained to me that I was mildly autistic nor that I was bi polar until I reached adulthood. Forgiveness has definitely been a process for me with my parents, but I honor them anyways and love them still because they were my parents and tried to do what was best for me without telling me the truth.
~”Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”~Exodus 20:12, ESV~
~”For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will you Father forgive you your trespasses.”~Matthew 6:14-15, ESV~
For many years growing up, I did not have many friends. I thought that most people, who I knew from elementary school, middle school, or high school, were my friends, when they really were not and just acquaintances. I was mocked at times. Other times, laughed at. Most people I knew just ostracized themselves from me because of my mental health condition and what I struggled with.
I remember when I was in high school and I would tell the girls who I knew (who I thought were my friends), “Hi, how are you?” And they would just stare at me and sometimes even walk away. Forgiving people of my past has definitely been a struggle for me.
I even remember the good ol’ college years at Georgia College and State University. I got into an argument with 2 friends I knew and tried to reason with them and even be as open, vulnerable, and honest as all of Christian community is called to do and tell them that my mental health condition was part of the reason why the argument started, but they made the choice to leave me and not even talk out the matter with me. This broke my heart, since I knew them for five years. I have forgiven them and moved on, but the pain is still there and I reflect on it at times.
God sees, knows, and acknowledges each of these struggles that I have struggled with for many years because of my bi-polar and mildly autistic condition. This is something that I can’t help, but can alleviate with by taking medication. (Yes, I take medication for my medical condition. You can go ahead and laugh and mock me behind my back too for this).
God sees and He knows the many mountains that He has allowed for me to move because of my total reliance and dependence on Him. Even as I trust Him with this thorn called mental health that He has put on my side, this has allowed my relationship with the Lord God to grow tremendously over the years.
~”Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done.”~Luke 22:42, ESV~
God is good. He is sovereign. I thank Him for using my mental health conditions to glorify Jesus all while spreading His Gospel and for being salt and light to others around me who need the truth of His Word to set them free from the mental strongholds and stigmas of mental health around them, in Jesus’ Name!
I now want to take the time to pray for you, dear reader and that you too will be strong and be courageous to open up about mental health conditions that you struggle with. There is no shame in the Gospel of Jesus Christ because opening up about something, like mental health conditions, sets you free from the strongholds and stigmas of mental health:
Dear God,
I thank You for the reader, who took the time to open up this blog post and read it. I pray that his or her soul was blessed today and that he or she can learn something that is pure and holy as You constantly renew and make that person’s soul more Christlike and less of this world. I pray that he or she realizes that he or she is more than an overcomer of mental health and that he or she is loved. Even though division and strife exist because of the stigma that mental health brings, Your love is what unifies and brings loved ones, from friends and family, together, because of what Your son, Jesus Christ, did on the cross. I thank You for what Your Son, Jesus Christ, did on the cross and that He overcame mental health conditions Because Jesus overcame mental health condition, I pray that every reader can take this truth away too: that he or she is more than an overcomer of mental health and that he or she will one day be totally free of it when in Heaven with Jesus Christ. I pray that readers worldwide will remember this truth. I give You all of the glory, the honor, and the praise.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen!
God bless you, dear reader! ❤