I am hopeful. I am hopeful in Christ.

I’ve been through rough times before. Plenty of times. Currently, I am beginning to question the unknown and why God is allowing for certain things to happen in my life. I trust and know that God has great plans for me, but am uncertain about my future with my current friendships.

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.”~John 14:1, ESV~

Lately, I have been very troubled. I have not heard from many of my friends from church since the Coronavirus pandemic began. While I do acknowledge that I have not done my part, as a member of the Body of Christ, by reaching out to them, I also acknowledge and truthfully say that they have not done their part either. Even when I do my part and text certain friends, they do not text me back. This makes me really and and deeply grieved. But, it reminds me at the same time that Jesus faced rejection.

I have been feeling as if not many of my friends from church care about me. And it is when I have been rejected and when friends from church choose to reject me that I believe in God and am thankful for what Christ did for me on the cross.

Jesus died for the rejection that I face. Jesus died for the sadness and grief that I feel. Jesus died for the pain that I feel. Memories with my friends from church may last for a season, but a relationship with Jesus Christ is for a lifetime.

I am in no way saying that I am ungrateful for the friendships that I currently have. I am just really sad that none of them, from my perspective, see me as worthy of friendship or a valuable person of significance. It is in these moments that when reality hits me hard with sadness and grief that I see my significance in the Lord Jesus Christ.

I am significant to God. I don’t have to be significant to my friends from church. I am loved by God. I don’t have to receive love to gain approval from my friends from church. I am cherished by God. I don’t need to hear from my friends to church for me to feel a certain way (happy, content, etc.).

I forgive my friends from church for not reaching out to me. At the same time, I forgive myself for not doing my part, as a member of the Body of Christ, for not reaching out. I pray that this moment will teach me how to be a better friend and that my friends from church can inquire of the Lord in prayer how they can treat me better and as a good friend.

I am thankful to God for the revelation that He has given me over the years concerning my life. I know that I have a calling and that God has plans for me that are different from my friends from church. I just have to trust in Him and know that perhaps rejection from my friends from church is a sign from God of redirection.

I am not letting go of my friends from church. In fact, I will continue to pray for them, as I always do in my quiet time. I praise God for the memories that I have made with them over the years. I will always cherish them.

I am now at peace with God and myself. I thank God for this peace that I feel that He gave me. I am no longer troubled or afraid of the future and what it holds. Thank You Jesus!