Yesterday, something profound happened to me.
~”And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also, he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”~ Revelation 21:5, ESV~
I went to a job fair yesterday. I went to the job fair with the intention of finding a job and not to see, meet, or even run into anyone. I ran into an old friend from college.
Now, we have not spoken in years. This is because of a disagreement that I got into with other friends in the same group, which left me to go on the path that the Holy Spirit was leading me to go since the year of 2017: separation from the Body of Christ (the friends from college) and solitude with the Lord.
~”We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.”~ 2 Corinthians 5:8, KJV~
There are things that have been left unsaid among my friends and me. I have missed out on many things with my friends, such as spending weddings, holidays, and other things together because of my committed sins. I am not perfect, by any means, but God is good because He has redeemed me by His grace.
The one thing I did gain from this experience of not seeing this friend or any of my friends from college for years was a stronger sense in my calling, purpose, and destiny, as an author and advocate for children, all while developing and maintaining a stronger relationship with Jesus. I also found that my approval DOES NOT come from this friend or any of my friends from college based off of my sins committed or what they think of me, but in my relationship and walk with God.
The friend that I saw yesterday saw me at the train station and walked towards me to say, “Hello.” I told her, “Hello,” back and we went to the job fair together.
We talked about many things. We even exchanged phone numbers. I do not know if I will ever hear from this friend again or any of my other friends from college, but I am thankful for this short meeting with the friend from college and for catching up on life together. I am taking this moment, as I reflect, on to praise the Lord and thank Him for this meeting as I was not expecting to see this friend from college again.
If I hear from her again, I will be happy. If I do not hear from her, I will be happy because being apart from this friend, as well as my other friends from college, has allowed me to discover my worth and that my worth comes from the Lord Jesus Christ and no one else. I have learned a lot of valuable lessons, over the years, and God has humbled me, by His grace, to seek Him and not men or women for approval or direction first.
I am stronger. I am wiser. I am more discerning of who I can and cannot trust. I am now in a period of learning of who I can and cannot trust. Not everyone is your friend, as I am learning, from the inflicted wound of two of the friends from college in 2017, a year I will not forget, but have surrendered to the Lord, as I heal in Him.
In fact, I am still learning if I can trust this friend from college that I ran into yesterday. God is redeeming the time and showing me. I cannot help, but wonder if this was a divine set up from the Lord OR that it could be a test from the Lord OR it could be both a divine set up and a test from the Lord.
Is this friend for me? Time will tell and God will show me, even if I don’t find out right away. I am not saying that I hope that this friend wishes ill will or bad things to happen to me, but I am a firm believer in the art of reaping and sowing.
I sinned against two of my friends. I have reaped the consequences of my actions. I attempted to mend things with the friends and they seemed to not receive or be receptive of me, even during the many times I tried to contact them. My prayer is that if it is God’s will that they will see that I have become a better person, but that does not mean that I let any one, including these two friends, take advantage of me and my kindness.
I do not know if the friend I met from college yesterday will contact me again. As stated, time will tell as her intentions for me are revealed and unfold. I enjoyed the time spent with the friend from college, even if it was our last moment together. God is faithful all of the time, whether I gain or lose reputation, value, or friends or family members that once loved me for the sake of my relationship with the Lord.
~”For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”~ Philippians 1:21, KJV~
Even if this was my last moment with this friend, time will tell as the Lord guides me. I pray and wish this friend and all of my friends from college the best. I am thankful for yesterday.
Thank you for reading this long and lengthy blog post. Grace and peace to all reading it!