“Don’t Give Up.”

After having many up and down battles with my health, the enemy, and myself, I am making the decision to return to Liberty University online to finish and complete my Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

I have been out of school for one year (since the Summer 2021). After having a seizure in the Fall 2021 as well as up and down battles with my emotions surrounding my bipolar disorder, I made the decision to quit….well, temporarily. God always has His way of surprising us, including me.

~”For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”~ Isaiah 55:8-9, ESV~

I currently work at a center that assists children with special needs, both mental and physical health challenges. A coworker came up to me (which I believe was a sign from God and that she was sent by God to talk to me), and asked me, “Don’t you have two Master’s degrees?”

“Yes, I have two Master of Arts degrees in Global Studies and Pastoral Counseling,” I said. “I went to seminary school for two years and was in the process of getting my third Master’s degree and first non-Seminary school-related degree. After things that happened during the Coronavirus pandemic to me, I just stopped.”

My coworker looked at me very sternly and said to me with such determination in her voice, “Don’t give up.”

I looked at her and stared. Then, I began to remember the reason why I wanted to become a counselor (that is what the degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling would be for), and thought about the divine impact that my friend from my church had on me to become a counselor. I seemed to have buried that dream in the ground and decided to forget about it over time.

A lot of time has passed since the Summer 2021 and since my seizure in October 2021 and up and down battles with emotions related to my bipolar disorder, I used these two factors as an excuse for me to abandon my dream and give up.

Those words, “Don’t give up,” have power….those words, “Don’t give up,” also have meaning…those words, “Don’t give up,” spoke directly to my spirit as a sign from God to remember, not forget my dream to become a counselor, and, most importantly, to not give up.

God was not pleased with me for choosing to disobey Him and my calling. I had to repent to the Lord (I did this yesterday) for disobeying Him and pretending as if my dream meant nothing…that the words that I told my friends from church, that, “I want to be a counselor,” don’t have meaning. Faith without carrying out the promises of God are dead to me and a dream deferred makes my heart ill and this is all because I chose to disobey God and not fulfil my calling to study and complete my degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. God really did use my coworker to surprise me!

~”For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.”~ James 2:26, ESV~

~”Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”~ Proverbs 13:12, ESV~

No longer am I going to give permission to let my mental health diagnosis determine that I cannot become a counselor. No longer am I going to give permission to let the ups and downs in my emotions determine that I cannot become a counselor. No longer am I going to let my past seizure that I had in October 2021 determine that I cannot become a counselor.

I shall become a counselor. I will become a counselor. This is a dream that God put on the inside of me that will give birth. No weapon or attacks from the enemy to my calling shall succeed, in the Name of Jesus Christ.

Greater is my portion. I refuse to let my mental health diagnosis cripple me or permit it to cripple me from making poor choices. I am free indeed, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I repent for disobeying God. I repent for not walking in the direction of my calling. I repent for avoiding the voice of the Holy Spirit of God. I walk with Jesus. He is my source of strength in Christ alone.

I won’t forget…I shall not give up…I will remember those words and their divine impact on me: “Don’t give up.”

I thank the Lord for using my coworker to speak to me. This was a divine set up.

The last words that I spoke, in my conversation with my coworker were: “You were a confirmation from God to me to go back to school. Thank you for words of encouragement to me today!”

My coworker said nothing, but smiled at me. God accomplished His purpose for me that day. I shall not want. Victory is my portion. I won’t give up. Never ever will I give up. NEVER!!!!!!

Thank you everyone for reading this blog post. Grace, peace, and many blessings to all of you!

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