Still My Heart, in the Name of Jesus Christ

God is good. God is good in that He allows for all things to work together for my good and for the good of those who serve Him.

~”And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”~Romans 8:28, NIV~

A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog post of which I explained how I was put in a hospital twice. I was dealing with things that God allowed for me to go through in order to test my character, my faithfulness to Him and others around me, and my trust in God in dire circumstances. Now, I have become a stronger person because of these dire circumstances that the Lord allowed me to go through months ago.

I have explained on social media that I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was hospitalized (once in November 2020 and another time in March 2021) in circumstances related to my bipolar disorder. I was even dealing with thoughts of suicide, which was not like me at the time that I was going through these emotional ups and downs. I even thought that God and others around me did not care about me nor did they love me. These were ALL LIES from the enemy that he was using to test my relationship and faithfulness to God.

I remember calling two good friends that I knew from my church as I was going through the time of being hospitalized. They provided me with encouragement, love, and support in order for me to see two things: that I am loved and that I am enough.

For me, to remember that I am loved and that I am enough in spite of the lies that I was thinking at the time was the encouragement and uplifting messages that I needed to hear in spite of the thoughts of suicide and ungrounded actions in my emotions that I was contemplating and learning how to deal with at the time. God is good!

I remember shortly after I was hospitalized in March 2021 that a friend from church taught me two spiritual disciplines that have empowered me to cope effectively with the depressive episodes of my bipolar disorder: they include to pray for at least one hour or more per day with a scented candle lit up, or to journal my thoughts, pray, and light up a scented candle. The purpose of the scented candle is to bring peace of God to my emotions and to still my heart and my mind in the right place so that my thinking is rational as I pray and so that the depressive episodes of my bipolar disorder are not as severe. I thank God for using this friend to teach me these spiritual disciplines because they have helped me tremendously in my prayer life and in my walk with God.

One spiritual discipline that I taught myself is to go on nature walks, either in parks or in my neighborhood. Nature walks have helped me to enjoy God more, seek and His presence as I walk with Him, and enjoy the beauty and creation of nature that the Lord created with His hands. Nature walking has also helped me to cope with the depressive episode and automatic thoughts that I think in spite of my bipolar disorder because it has helped to keep my mind focused on Heavenly things and not focus on the pain that comes from my bipolar disorder.

 ~”Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” ~Philippians 4:8-9, NIV~

All of these things that I have been through have taught me to be strong and to be still and know that God is my peace in the midst of my bipolar disorder and the depressive episodes and automatic thoughts that surround it. I am thankful for my church family and for the good that He has used my church family to teach me how to be more rooted and grounded in my faith as I seek more of the Lord and remain faithful to Him in spite of the struggles that I face (which are daily) in spite of my bipolar disorder. God is good! God is good! Amen.

The Birthing Process of My First Book

My 1st book, “A Victory Song,” will be published by the end of 2021.

I recently had a conversation with my publishing specialist of my 1st book and she informed me that, “A Victory Song,” should be published by the end of 2021. I praise the Lord for this good news!

~”And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”~Romans 10:15, ESV~

I began the process of writing this book after the Holy Spirit of God led me to do so in 2018 after attending an all-woman’s conference with a good colleague that I know (It was not a Christian conference, but it was an all-woman’s conference). I made a declaration in front of the entire audience, who was watching me, after other women presented their dreams of what they hope to do in the future.

I made a declaration that I was going to publish my 1st book in front of the entire audience. The women in the audience beamed at me as I made this prophetic declaration. It came across as inspiring for the other women in the audience.

After making this prophetic decree, another woman approached me in the audience and told me that she wanted to connect me with another colleague, who was to be my book coach!

I have been connected to this book coach since the Summer 2018 and she has impacted me to write the message behind my book. I am grateful that God allowed for us to cross paths and that the Holy Spirit was able to use her to help me to guide me to write the content and put together and outline for my 1st book.

Now, it is three years later (Summer 2021) and I am in the publishing process of my 1st book. God has been faithful through the time and effort spent to write the book and the people and Christian publishing company that He has put me in touch with to get, “A Victory Song,” published. His plans for my life and how He intends to use this book to reach and minister to the multitudes is marvelous and beyond my understanding!

~”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11, NIV~

The Lord connected me with Christian Faith Publishing, a Christian self-publishing company that is going to publish, “A Victory Song.” My book is now in the cover design stage of the publishing process and should be published by the end of 2021, per my publishing specialist for Christian Faith Publishing.

I am really excited to see how the Lord will use this book to minister to the multitudes and bring His people into an even stronger relationship with God and those who do not know His Son, Jesus, into a relationship with the Lord. I thank God for being the main Source of divine inspiration behind my book and cannot wait to share the message of my book with all of you once it is published!

**Please continue to keep the publishing process of, “A Victory Song,” in your prayers and that the Lord will allow it to be published by the end of 2021, per what my publishing specialist for Christian Faith Publishing told me. Thank you kindly everyone and peace and blessings!

Every Victory Step

Recently, I took a huge step: I will be taking the necessary exam in order for me to become a National Certified Counselor.

While I do not graduate until the Summer 2022, this step that I must take will count towards my graduation and me getting my license for me to become a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC).

I am very excited to see how the Holy Spirit of God will work in and through me to study for this exam and to take it by November 2021. The Lord has been very faithful to me over the years. Ever since I began this journey to become a counselor, I have seen the hand of God at work in my life in many ways.

~”There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. “~Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11, NIV~

The Lord God has given me a disciplined heart and mind for me to complete this exam. In order for me to pass this exam, I have to be certain that I study and do my best for this exam so that I can get the required license for me to practice counseling in the future and become and Licensed Professional Counselor. This shall happen in the divine timing of God.

I just began my classes for the Summer 2021. I am excited to see how the Lord will move in my Summer classes as I take them and use the knowledge necessary to study for this exam. Completion of my Summer classes will count as a stepping stone for me to get to the next level that God is taking me.

The next level is glorious. The next level that God is taking me is so glorious, in the Name of Jesus Christ.

I lift my hands to the sky and thank the Lord for the good that He is doing in and through my life and for bringing me this far in my journey to become a counselor. Praise the Lord!

As I lift my hands to the sky, I praise the Lord for every victory step that He is taking me to get into the next level and become a counselor. Praise the Lord!

I cannot wait for the celebration that will take place once I receive the degree from Liberty University and the license for me to become a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). The hand of God is with me every step. Every victory step. Amen!

As a Woman of the Lord

My new life is starting. My new life is starting now because Christ makes all things new for me.

~”Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”~2 Corinthians 5:17, English Standard Version~

Lately, my heart and my mind have been pondering whether or not to begin again. When I say to begin again, I mean that I am putting away childish things behind me so that I can walk into the purpose, the plans, and the destiny that God has ordained for me. My prayer is for me to walk as a woman of God and not after the things of this world.

Jesus is coming back soon for His Kingdom and I have to be ready for Him to come and receive me as I receive Him, as the woman of the Lord that Jehovah is calling me to receive. I must receive Christ just as He has always received me, in the name of Jesus Christ.

I am going to start this process by making new friends and praying for the Holy Spirit to open up my heart and my mind to meet new people. For a long time, I have not been open to meeting new people because of previous bad experiences with people that I have not healed, from a spiritual and emotional standpoint.

Starting the end of this month and July 2021, I am going to open up my heart and my mind to meet new people and to new experiences, in the name of Jesus Christ. My prayer is also that God will bless these friendships and that they will be lifelong connections, in the name of Jesus Christ. My prayer is that these new friends will be blessed by my warmth and presence that the Holy Spirit of God has gifted me with to bless and be a blessing to them.

I have to pray for the Lord to use me to touch lives. I have to pray for the Lord to bless my hands to be kind and tenderhearted to the multitudes around me. I have to pray for the Lord to use me to bless my heart and mind to do good in the midst of the chaos in this world.

~”No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”~Romans 8:37, English Standard Version~

***Please pray for me friends and that the Lord God will open up my heart and my new mind to new people and experiences that are Godly and that the new people and new experiences will receive me with Godliness and agape love. Thank you kindly everyone and blessings!

Come Holy Spirit, Come

It has been almost one year since the Coronavirus pandemic began in March 2020.

My birthday was a few weeks ago (March 25, 2021), and I turned thirty years old. I marked this year as the year of the beginning of a new decade, new friends, and new memories for me in spite of the pandemic.

Lately, I have been opening myself to try new things so that I can meet new people. One of these things was that I signed up for a Connect Group at Passion City Church. I did this with the hope of meeting new people and expanding my social circle of Christian friends, who I can grow and do life with in my own life.

~”A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”~Proverbs 17:17, New International Version~

Now, do not get me wrong. I am not leaving my home church, First Baptist Church of Atlanta because I have a God-given responsibility to be the light and love of Christ through greeting and other church-related activities at this church. I am just trying out the Connect Group at Passion City Church in a few weeks so that I can expand my social network of Christian friends in my social circle and grow in the Lord with them.

I also made an account on the website, Hey Vina! I created this account with the hope of meeting new friends, who have the same hobbies, common interests, and common goals as myself.

I have not met people on this website yet, but hope to soon so that I can be the light and love of God to my friends, who I hope to meet and make, through this app.

~“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”~John 3:16, English Standard Version~

Besides looking to expand on my social network of friends, I am using this season of life to focus on growing myself inside and out in many ways. One of these ways is that I am working on editing my first book, “A Victory Song.”

This book, “A Victory Song,” is in the process of going through the second round of edits that are needed before it moves into the second stage of the publishing process of my book, which is the page design stage of the book. My hope and prayer is that, “A Victory Song,” will captivate and touch many lives in the Atlanta community and outside of my Atlanta community. As I put my heart and my soul in investing in this project, I hope that it inspires many lives to turn to Jesus Christ.

Another way that I am focusing on growing on myself is through writing to inspire. The only time that I write is if I am inspired to write. I write to glorify God first in my life as I let His Holy Spirit use me as His vessel to inspire many on this journey of my life.

A third way that I am focusing on growing myself is through setting boundaries in terms of spending and saving money. Recently, I set a budget to shop for clothes and items that I needed for the upcoming seasons of Spring and Summer 2021. I bought three of each item (three tops, three dresses, and three pairs of shoes) at the clothing store. Even though it was tempting for me to buy more than what I needed at the time, I stuck to what I originally planned in terms of my budget amount. It was worth it as the Holy Spirit of God is guiding me to be more practical, sensible, and discerning with my money.

God has been so good in my life lately! And it is with as I end this blog post that I challenge you: In what ways has God prompted you to expand your social network and work on growing in your walk and relationship with Him? All comments are welcomed. God bless you!

He Restores My Soul (For His Name’s Sake)

These past three and a half months have been a whirlwind!

Just in case my Facebook and Instagram followers have been wondering why I have not been posting on social media as much, I am thankful to God that I am back online and that the Lord is healing me.

I was recently hospitalized in March 2021. This was my second time that I was hospitalized since November 2020. While I choose to not disclose the reasons as to why or what led me to be hospitalized, I would like to extend my utmost thanks to my two friends (I will not disclose their names on this blog post) for praying and interceding for me. I even thank YOU especially for praying for me to not give up on my life or on my hopes and dreams for the future because God has great plans for me!

~”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”~Jeremiah 29:11, NIV~

Before I went into the hospital in March 2021, a Christian prophet spoke into my life that many people that I know would leave me and betray me in this season (this past season). This same prophet also prophesized to me that I would be called to walk alone (this does not mean that I cut myself off from my loved ones——it just means that I am doing the Lord’s work by walking in His divine will for me as I choose to walk alone with Him due to events that are out of my control and that are divinely orchestrated by the will of God to happen for His glory).

One of the reasons why I believe that God allowed me to be hospitalized a second time was for me to draw closer to Him as I soaked in the presence of the Lord during my time at the hospital. It is my conviction that during my second time at the hospital that the Lord wanted me to receive a sense of rest, but at the same time to enter into a sense of peace with who I am, as a child of God.

As I entered into the rest of the Lord for a second time at the hospital, I carried my Bible everywhere. I did not approach people and talk to them as I wanted to talk to them. I only talked to them as the Holy Spirit of God led me not only so that I could be a witness for them, but so that they could receive an encouraging Scripture or Scriptures that would empower them to get through the harsh time that or be equipped to handle the baggage that they were dealing with at the time.

There were a couple of instances, in which people at the hospital, would gather around me solely because they wanted to hear me read from the Bible to them. I read from the Bible to the people at the hospital and they would receive it (most of them) with joy and gladness in their hearts. A couple of people from the hospital even asked me to borrow my Bible so that they could read it themselves at the hospital. I believe that people from the hospital asked me if they could read my Bible because they were hungry for the Word of God and wanted to be encouraged.

I am glad that the Lord was able to use me during the time and season that He allowed for me to be hospitalized so that I could be a testimony and witness to the doctors and counselors and be the light and love of Christ while at the hospital.

Even while at the hospital, I did not give up praying for my hopes and dreams (such as, to graduate with my Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, get my first book published, etc.), or for my friends (even though I don’t have many close friends ) and family. There were moments in which I would walk around the hospital and pray out loud or to myself as the Holy Spirit of God led me. Those moments were wonderfully relaxing as I remained in the presence and rest of the Lord.

~”And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.””~Exodus 33:14, ESV~

~”There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”~1 John 4:18-19, NIV~

I bless my friends. I bless my family. I bless those who did not betray me or leave me alone when mostly everyone did choose to betray me and to leave me alone. I speak the love of God over you and your families, husbands, wives, and children as I end this blog post, which much love from the Father and myself. God bless you!

So Glorious

I’m moving forward. And this time, I’m not looking back.

The Lord opened my spiritual eyes. For the first time in years, I see the works of the hands of Jehovah in my life. I see His purpose. I see His plans for me. My future is glorious!

~”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”~Jeremiah 29:11, NIV~

For the first time in my life, I have a new understanding of the revelation knowledge of God. I have wisdom beyond my years. And the Holy Spirit of God wants me to impart this understanding and wisdom to those in the world.

I am holy because He is holy. I am pure because the sight that God has given me is pure. I am healed because God has blessed me with healing as my portion, on earth as it is in heaven. I am selfless because the Lord ordained me to bring joy and blessings in place of lack to the helpless. If I cannot show the love of God to others around me, then I am not fulfilled in Christ.

God loved me first, even in the moments when I thought of myself as unlovable or when others chose to not love me or misunderstood me. God loved me first, even in the moments when I could not love myself back because of lack of strength from the divine. God loved me first, even in the moments when I gave selflessly of my spiritual talents and did not receive love in return. And it is with that, I chose to make God my first love.

People disappoint. People fail. People betray. People hurt. People lie. People deceive. But, in spite of treachery, that does not make me a victim. I am a victor in the Lord! Victory is my portion!

I forgive myself for causing hurt that my spiritual eyes could not see. I forgive myself for being too judgemental. I forgive myself for not understanding why…..why……why it had to be this way.

I forgive and go forward, knowing that love covers a multitude of sins. My life is in the hands of Jehovah.

It was the will of God through the divine. He orchestrates things to happen for a reason. My hope for the future is bright and brilliant, even when I cannot see the light of God at the end of the tunnel yet.

~”But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”~Matthew 5:44-45, NIV~

~”Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”~Romans 12:9, NIV~

Even if people turn their back on me…..even if people misunderstand me….even if people judge my relationship with God….I will pray for them!

Jesus never turned His back on anyone that judged Him. Jesus put Himself in the understanding of others (irregardless of what they thought of Him) in order to selflessly meet their needs. Jesus always loved the Lord and stayed in relationship with Him, even when others judged Him for desiring to get closer to God…..And He prayed for them!

And it is with that I go into that secret place, shut myself from the world, abide in that resting place with the Lord, and pray! The works of my hands will be fruitful and multiplied across the ends of the earth with the Word of the Lord that I speak out loud and over my life, stretching to the end of the earth. To God be the glory!

I Choose Patience

Lately, I am learning to become more patient with myself and others.

As a child of God with Bi Polar Disorder, I am learning that patience must be exercised so that God’s love and grace can be put on full display as Jesus Christ is glorified. Patience is my portion, in the name of Jesus Christ.

~”Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.”~Ecclesiastes 7:8, KJV~

I exercise patience through the words that I speak. I exercise patience through my deeds. This is because faith without the actions of Christ is dead.

In spite of my Bi Polar Disorder diagnosis, I seek the Lord as I pray to Him for ways that I can be more patient. Whether it be as I interact with my roommate’s daughters as I attempt to understand them as they communicate to me or with having a conversation with my family members about Jesus, God is still working on me to be more patient.

I even have to pray to the Lord for ways that I can be more patient with myself in terms of my emotional state surrounding my Bi Polar Disorder. Instead of constantly texting my friends as I have in the past whenever they do not respond right away, I am patient. Instead of constantly making phone calls to my dad when he still chooses to not respond to me, I am patient. Instead of wanting to rush God and His plans for me in regards to my book being published, I am patient.

The Lord knows what He is doing in terms of His plans for my life, which is why I choose patience over pride. The Lord’s ways are higher than my ways because He sees the bigger picture when I do not, which is why I choose patience over pride. The Lord’s thoughts are higher than my thoughts, which is why I surrender to Him in order to work on me being more patient as opposed to prideful.

God is greater than my Bi Polar Disorder diagnosis. In the midst of my Bi Polar Disorder diagnosis, God is making me more patient with my emotions as I still myself in His presence.

I am calm because I am still in the presence of the Lord. Therefore, patience is my portion instead of pride. I am at peace with God because His presence fills me up with greater joy. Therefore, patience is my portion instead of pride. Peace of God overflows in abundance with my emotions in the midst of my Bi Polar Disorder. Therefore, patience is the key that unlocks greater blessings and abundance, as my portion. I am now free indeed, in the name of Jesus Christ.

May you ask of the Lord to teach you how to be more patient today. Walk in patience with yourself as you are patient with others. Be patient because it is not just a virtue that the world knows: it is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. God bless you!

I Yield to Self-Control

I see the light. I see the light of God that is through Jesus Christ. At last, my spiritual eyes have been opened.

As I see the light of God, I see clearer. I think more clearly. I can trust God as He gives me the sight to look at the bigger picture of what His Holy Spirit is allowing for me to see. I have faith as God shows me the bigger picture.

~”So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”~2 Corinthians 4:18, NIV~

I am diagnosed with Bi Polar Disorder. I have days in which my mood is positive and days in which my mood is negative. In other words, I have my good days and I have my bad days.

I carry this cross called Bi Polar Disorder daily. Recently, the Holy Spirit shed light into my emotions and showed me that I must claim self-control over my emotions as my portion. This is because self-control over my emotions is a fruit of the Holy Spirit of which I already have on the inside my heart.

I must claim this fruit of self-control that the Holy Spirit blessed me with as I seek the Lord to become more Christ-like. Self-control is my portion today, in the name of Jesus Christ!

~”But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”~Galatians 5:22-23, ESV~

While I am not perfect, I ask the Lord as I pray to give me the spirit of self-control over my emotions so that the circumstances associated with my Bi Polar Disorder submit to the will and power of God through Jesus Christ.

Through Christ, I can self-control my emotions. Through Christ, I am able to self-control my emotions. Through Christ, self-controlling my emotions is possible!

The Holy Spirit of God will continue to show me the route that I must take as I yield to the authority of God and let Him take control of my emotions as I self-control my emotions. I thank God for this revelation knowledge that He gave me, as my portion, and for self-control. Praise the Lord and bless His holy name today! Hallelujah!

Pray for me as I seek God’s will and take steps of faith concerning my mental health as well as for favor with my health as my portion. Thank you kindly everyone and God bless you!

God: My Immovable Anchor

I have no one. I have no one, except God, in my life.

God is my Comforter. God is my Rock. God is my Everything. I praise the Lord for being my Anchor in the midst of this storm.

~”We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.”~Hebrews 6:19, NIV~

Recently, I lost my job. While I will not go into the reason as to why I was let go, God is still good and still sovereign. God allowed me to lose my job so that I can depend upon Him to meet my needs.

Also, I feel really alone during this time of the Coronavirus pandemic. Not many of my Christian friends, both brothers and sisters in Christ, have taken the initiative to check in on me to see how I am doing these days. I’m not saying that all of them have not checked in on me. I am saying that most of them have not checked on me to see how I am doing. I pray that God will open their eyes and that they will repent for how they are treating me, even if it is unintentional.

I also opened up about my mental illness for the first time on social media because the Lord led me to open up about it. I cannot help but notice that since I opened up about it on social media that my friends on social media are commenting less and liking less. I knew that this would probably happen, but God is using this to prove to me to trust in Him and not in man to make me content.

~”Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”~Philippians 4:11, ESV~

I have Bi Polar Disorder. I am also a child of God. God loves me. God loves me irregardless of my Bi Polar Disorder diagnosis. My friends on social media and outside of social media can change how and what they think of me because of my Bi Polar Disorder diagnosis. God’s Word never changes and will always remain constant in my life.

~”Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”~Hebrews 13:8, NLT~

I thank God for these storms that He is allowing to take place in my life. I praise God for using these storms to reach me and teach me to lean in on Him and to trust in Him. I know that God will provide for me a better job. I know that God is still good and still sovereign, even in the midst of my Bi Polar Disorder diagnosis.

Even if I do not know what the outcome of these storms are in my life, God is still good and still sovereign. Even though I do not know how God is going to use me to make an impact on the world and those in it through the book that I wrote (once it is published), God is still good and still sovereign. Even when my family ostracizes me and my friends on social media comment and like less and less, God is still good and still sovereign.

I thank the Lord for these storms. I am excited to see how God is going to end these storms and still prove His goodness and sovereignty in the midst of these storms. I will continue to claim the promises of God and remain strong in Him. God is my Strength. God is good. And God is sovereign.

Please continue to pray for me and my book (it is not yet published and should be published by June or July 2021) and that God will favor the editing and publishing process with my book with the Christian self-publishing company that my book is with in this moment. Thank you and God bless you!